Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Experiments with the Tooth / Toothpost And Flaws

Toothache is one of the most hard-to-locate pains in the world. Its not like the ear-ache that can be instantly put to ease with a simple toss of your head. Or the muscle ache that can be only rectified by the very pleasurable task of nodding off.

People never document it but the most ABOMINABLE pain in the whole wild world HAS to be the smarting of the skin-between-the fingernail. You fall prey to it when you wildly hack off some of your precious dermal layer while trimming the nails.

But of toothache, the less said the better (and yet, i dedicate to it a whole post). Its not as vicious and lashing as the skin-between-the-fingernails excruciation. Its not as biting as the ear-ache.
But the Common Toothache can make man live his horrendous most nightmares.

You manifest your hog-likeness in the most obvious of ways, and stuff in one-two many morsels. Your long-suffering belly bears it subservently enough and patiently takes the food in, the mucosa never failing, the colon never refusing...
And you!
Champion Chomper, Gluttonous Gnasher, Monstrous Mincer Of All times merely look around with a self-satisfied air, wipe the sweat off and tackle Level II- the post-meal meal.
That's when the first tremors begin to rock your jaws.

The jowl has atlast weakened. The WhizDumb Tooth gives a dangerous creak.
Zooming into the dark cavern of your mouth, one can imagine what the scene must look like. The incisors would be putting up a brave front. The canines would be swinging ominously, reminescent of the buckling chandelier seen in desi horror-movie climaxes.
The grinders would be lying like fallen soldiers, battered and beaten.
To this scene of penultimate doom, you lend the spooky background score as you ruthlessly command the lone fighters to march to the beats of chomp-chomp.

Toothquake scales up to 9.0 Richter teethtonic hell. You yell, desperate to make the pain stop, and unable to locate the epicenter. You call up the GERMINATOR for help.

And the rest is all a rather insalubrious matter between you, the dentist, the three deadly hollows that riddle your teeth.

Which brings us to the end of another post that helps Woodhearse buy some time before the dreaded permanent burial.


  1. The teeth always aspire to be free.. free of the mundane tasks that they are made to do....and thus they make you suffer their suffering...
    hope you are having a brilliant suffering time!!

  2. hahaha....funny post....but seriously.....wat made u right about this....???

  3. so u finally lost ur milk tooth.a commendable medically instructive post to mark the ocassion

  4. @ kavisha
    see i am not suffering from any tooth-related maladies :)
    @ amit:
    i AM right most of the times, and tooth-related maladies is a pet topic :)

  5. @ psr: this aint autobiographical, so there..

  6. If you haven't already, you might want to take a look at this.

  7. The toothache much reminds me of Dumbledore in the pre-RAB cavern poison drinking. You must seriously be in great pain, to give such an emotional, accurate account.

    Btw, Tried the Insti Hospital? And Combiflam?

  8. howcome toothache?? i remember correctly u don't even possess teeth, u can only mumble,remember??... :P

  9. @ murty: the poem simply throbs with pathos and emotion. I am profoundly moved.
    I see that toothache is a global affliction.

    @ kondi: Knowing how fruity Rowling can get, i am sure Dumby wasnt crying out any ole toothache.
    it must have been the mental trauma, something becuase he could 'love'.

    @ ankita: eoww! seeee i was mumbling because of a toothache!! and- SOB.

  10. I am with you on this one. Whatever you have said, its the tooth, the tooth and nothing but the tooth!

    And don't go with the bald fellow, the insti hospital might lead to dentures.

    P.S: May the tooth be with you :P

  11. I live to eat. I shall keep eating to my heart's content till all 32 decide to break free from the gums.
    Till then, may the tooth be with you and me and everybody else on this page.

  12. Daring the tooth?
    well, its hard to see the flaws in gluttony once you embrace mottos like 'i love eating'!