Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The End Draws Closer

P.G's WoodHearse ( established since 1989) is sad to announce that Summer-break '09 has booked a hearse for itself. Undertakers from IITR have announced the day of its death- 22nd of this month.

Not since the demise of Sirius Black have I found myself so completely choked and cut up. Needless to say, its an early, cruel death for these upstanding HolyDays, and allow me a last hearty sob into my kerchief before I read out the funeral speech.

* Background music: Another Brick In the Wall By Pink Floyd*

I am P.G. and I would like to say a few words in memory of The HolyDays.

A whole glorious summer of wallowing in laziness has passed, and it is with surprise that I note that we all made it through, despite the scorching sun, the unyielding rains and The Hangover.
Looking back, the HolyDays fit into the general scheme of 'life is one grand, sweet song'. One could be lazy. One could be greedy. One could loll forever, atleast till one's spine suffered permanent damage.

My brief but beautiful relation with the HolyDays took me to the most breath-taking heights of Joblessness. It was this vast space of time which let me sit for hours appreciating the singular beauty of an earthworm trying to crawl out of the earth after the first showers.
It seems so unbelievably far-away- the day when Shendi ( Agent XAGR8) and I held up Monginis, snubbed a w.h.i.t.e. and snuck off to KFC for reinforcements, ( missing Agent Blonde and Agent BroomSTUCK sorely) and met the Chinese gunman Chu-ha .
This is all I can manage to say, because at the moment, grief has rendered my thorax dysfunctional.

One more week and the green and lush Roorkee will pop back into sight and life will screech out its answer to the meaning of Architecture, Second Year and First Sem : 42.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Vacation excesses

This isn't my debut on blogspot. It's easily my 5th blog but I hope it won't die an unfortunate death like the earlier ones. A deep sense of foreboding fills me as I write this First Post...
Will P.G.'s WoodHearse escape permanent burial within the reams of other webpages? Will the blogger within me finally resurrect and sort of stick to this irksome concept of self-documentation? I suspect the former but no use worrying...

I planned to go into estivation these hols but Greater Forces objected to my 24-hours-of-sleep agenda. While the lucky half of the animal kingdom ( lizards, bees and the kind) dozed off all summer, I was often made to wake up at SIX AM and face the cruel,blinding morning light. Turned bitter against the homo sapiens species and their belief in healthy habits, I decided to try my hand at suicide driving. So I joined a driving school nearby and for 15 days, Noida shook and cowered from 11:30 am to 12:00 pm as I zipped through its streets and alleys at breakneak speed. Cows hopped aside, dogs discovered wings and people scattered as I ( After Stupefying the instructor) tore past madly.

But gradually, maybe out of no other choice, i began to enjoy early mornings ( the cusp of melting moonlight and virginal sunlight and all that). No use ranting when it's true that there's no time like early morn and so, my attitude towards The Homo Sapiens Species softened.

So did my Road Rage.

Now I am recognized by Yogendera Driving School, Sector 12, Noida as a responsible driver. I await the state's approval.
I love U-turns. I trace oblong O's as I circumvent the same U-turns. Baffles the traffic inspector because he sees the same car going in-and-out of the turn for about half an hour.

Somehow driving brings to your mind the quaint tunes of 'Fun, Fun, Fun' by the Beach Boys.

The lyrics are truly inspiring:

" Well she got her daddy's car

And she cruised through the hamburger stand now

Seems she forgot all about the library

Like she told her old man now

And with the radio blasting

Goes cruising just as fast as she can now

And she'll have fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away(fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away) "

..which is all i can think of for now.

Here's me abruptly signing off.

The Lamborghini Murceilago is a pretty car. With the stunning kinetic streaks running past its composite body and THE KILLER SPEED it promises...hmm..I'm giving it a thought.